ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize