just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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