All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
