I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
