no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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