Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
