We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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