You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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