Your tits are I can't wait for
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
