i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
