My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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