Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
not ubering you a puppy
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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