Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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