Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize