worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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