After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So vagazzling was a success
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
