The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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