The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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