But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
