The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
