You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
being pregnant is like rehab
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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