She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
