Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize