i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
