Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
