I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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