you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize