This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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