Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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