You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
