Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
