Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize