just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Can you bring me the toilet please
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
