i permit you to call me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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