so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
