oh god the rape fog is back!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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