I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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