What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
