Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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