I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
