Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
