I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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