dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
