Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You smell like stripper and shame
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize