i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
