what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
