LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
