chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
