What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think I have vodka in my lungs
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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