ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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