What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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