My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
