Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I FOUND THE LEGS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
