hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
