remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
