ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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