my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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