I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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