he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
