in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Randomize