I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
