Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
