i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
