Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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