You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
