Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
