Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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