wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
