I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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