Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
