Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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