I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
