New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
