yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
