Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
